The little things with great love

To be perfectly honest I don't know how I feel about this blog thing, especially given the fact that J and I have chosen to write about our marriage and our struggle to grow in holiness. Who's gonna read it? What will they think? Will I care? Will documenting this journey help me be more accountable for the souls of our family?

I don't know. So far it seems as if my son's godparents are blogging in the comments, and my mind is spinning (in a good way).

I started thinking, do I call my family into holiness? Do I allow them to suffer? Do I look for opportunities for sacrifice?

Then I remembered why we called this the little married way. In some ways it would be so much easier to chuck it all, move to Africa, and minister to the poor there. It would be big and radical and purposeful. We would be poor and working hard and suffering would come. Our total dependence on God would be immediate to our daily existence. Sometimes I wish we could do that, and maybe one day God will call us there.

What is harder for me, and what I believe God is calling me to right now is being extraordinarily ordinary. To offer up these small sufferings for my husband and children. I am a naturally impatient person so when things don't go my way I can make it a prayer or I can bite the heads off J and the kids...right now this what God is expecting of me, and I am failing miserably.

I have to remember it is only by his grace that I can accomplish anything. I keep forgetting that. But how blessed are we that we have such access to the sacraments, where we can receive that grace?.

So I will end with this...I need the help of my husband to grow in holiness. J please remind me that I need to go to confession as soon as possible.

To say "we."

We are selfish creatures; it is hard not feel that even more acutely during Lent. That may be one of the hardest burdens we gained from our fall in the garden is an unnatural tendency to selfishness.

It is easier to say "me" than to say "us," to say "I" than to say "we."

So I guess that I have to admit this blog is a little selfish.

My wife and I were discussing how hard it is to come up with married saints. It seems like most espoused saints either went into religious life after they became a widow(er), lived a celibate life while married, were praying their wayward son and abusive husband into heaven, or died in childbirth.

It's not that we don't know amazing married couples, it's just hard sometimes to see how anyone can be that put together. It seems impossible sometimes to grow in holiness while working on about 3 hours of sleep, especially when those three hours weren't even all at once.

And so, inspired by two very holy women, we are trying to make our own "Little Way." This is our way of keeping track of the things that work, and maybe our way of leaving a record for our children that even though we weren't perfect, we tried.

And while we're working, we might as well share.